How to Be a Great Coaching Client
Get the most out of the coaching experience you’re investing in.
Leadership coaching is a lot like joining a gym: Just paying for it doesn’t make you stronger—but wouldn’t that be nice? Coaching is a powerful investment of time, money, and energy. And the best way to maximize that investment is to show up ready to engage and do the work. But if you’re new to coaching, you might not know what that means—or what it doesn’t. And since “coaching” is a term that’s often overused or misunderstood, some initial confusion is completely normal.
Until now.
Here’s how to get the most out of your coach—and your coaching sessions.
Understand what coaching is—and isn’t.
The International Coaching Federation (ICF) defines coaching as “partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.” That means your coach isn’t there to fix you, give you answers, or serve as your therapist, mentor, or manager. They’re there to help you reflect, build self-awareness, and develop the capacity to solve your own challenges more effectively.
Your coach may share insights or perspectives occasionally, but their role isn't to tell you what to do. It’s to help you access and trust your own wisdom. So, if you’re tempted to ask your coach, “What do you think I should do?”—don’t be surprised if your coach asks you questions like “What are your options? What would make this decision easier? What are you willing to experiment with?”
Bring a goal, not just a complaint.
Come to each coaching conversation with a purpose. What do you want to walk away with? Rather than focusing on what’s wrong, focus on what you want to be different. Try phrases like “I want to get better at…” or “I need support in navigating…” or “I’d like to be clearer about…”
Also, prep in advance. Your coach is probably thinking about you between sessions, and you should be thinking about coaching, too. It helps to send a quick note ahead of time with your focus area before the call so you can both hit the ground running. You don’t have to over-prepare, but under-preparing can limit your growth. If you find yourself saying, “I haven’t thought about coaching since our last call,” consider that a sign to reassess how you’re showing up. (And you might want to discuss that with your coach.)
Finally, while venting or complaining is a natural part of the human experience, your coaching sessions shouldn’t focus on how other people are behaving or how unfair your circumstances might be. It’s better to use your conversations with your coach to unpack how you might be contributing to your situation and what you can learn from it and do to improve it.
Do the homework.
Coaching sessions are important, but so is what happens in between. That’s where real change begins.
In Becoming Coachable, Scott Osman and Jacquelyn Lane describe this as a “willingness to take action.” That means trying new behaviors, experimenting with mindsets, and testing what you’ve discussed in real-life situations. Your homework should feel relevant and challenging—not like busywork. It should stretch you, not overwhelm you. If it doesn’t, tell your coach so they can help adjust it to your context.
Doing the work might mean giving feedback to a team member, trying a different approach in a recurring meeting, or simply pausing to reflect before reacting. What matters is that you’re not just talking about change—you’re practicing it and evaluating your results.
Own the coaching relationship.
Owning the coaching relationship means stepping into the driver’s seat with your coach riding shotgun, not steering for you. Come to sessions with a clear agenda. Share your honest perspective. Stay open to feedback, especially the kind that makes you want to squirm, deflect, or explain it all away with a “Let me tell you why some of this feedback is unfair…”
Bring your whole self: your values, your vision, and your opinions. And speak up about what’s working, and what isn’t, in the process. Let your coach know if something feels off, if a topic feels unfinished, or if you need to revisit something from earlier sessions. That kind of honesty strengthens the relationship and deepens the work.
Your coach can offer insight, structure, and support. But you bring the clarity, the courage, and the follow-through. That’s what turns coaching into a catalyst for transformation—not just a really nice conversation.
Bottom line
Great coaching clients aren’t perfect. They’re engaged, honest, willing to do the work, and open to owning both the process and their progress. You don’t need to impress your coach. Just show up with intention, reflection, and the courage to grow. That’s when coaching becomes a game-changer.
References
Riegel, D.G. (2018). Stop complaining about your colleagues behind their backs. Harvard Business Review. Retrieved from https://hbr.org/2018/10/stop-complaining-about-your-colleagues-behind-their-backs
Osman, S., & Lane, J. (2023). Becoming Coachable: Unleashing the Power of Coaching to Unlock Leadership Potential. Hoboken, NJ: Wiley.
Deborah Grayson Riegel MSW, PCC
Deborah Grayson Riegel is a keynote speaker and consultant who teaches leadership communication for Wharton Business School and Columbia Business School. She is a regular contributor for Harvard Business Review, Inc., Psychology Today, Forbes, and Fast Company. The author of Overcoming Overthinking: 36 Ways to Tame Anxiety for Work, School, and Life, she consults and speaks for clients including Amazon, BlackRock, KraftHeinz, PepsiCo, and The United States Army. Her work has been featured in worldwide media, including Bloomberg Businessweek, Oprah Magazine, and The New York Times.
Thanks for reading Deborah Grayson Riegel! Subscribe for free to receive new posts.