How to Care for Your Clients When Everything Feels Like a Dumpster Fire

Photo by Sheng-Fan You: https://www.pexels.com/photo/close-up-of-vibrant-orange-flames-in-fire-pit-30591345/

Let's be real: The world feels a bit like that time I tried to roast chestnuts without scoring them first – 100% explosive and 100% hot mess. Your clients aren't just dealing with business challenges – they're navigating a landscape where every headline brings a new crisis, uncertainty is the only certainty, and "How are you?" has become the loaded question equivalent of "Does this make my butt look big?”

But here’s the thing: Our clients don't need us to fix the world – they need us to be a steady, empathetic presence in an unsteady time. They need someone who can sit with discomfort, acknowledge uncertainty, and still maintain hope for the future. They need us to ask not what our clients can do for us, but what we can do for our clients.

The Art of Real Empathy (Because "Everything Happens for a Reason" Should be Banned)

There's a difference between saying "That must be hard" and truly understanding what your clients are carrying. It's like the difference between watching someone move apartments while you sit in your La-Z-Boy recliner and actually helping them carry the couch up three flights of stairs. Real empathy means:

You might say:

"I hear how challenging this is for you and your team" (And yes, 'challenging' is sometimes code for 'this is a hot mess')

"Tell me more about what you're experiencing"

"It makes perfect sense that you're feeling overwhelmed/frustrated/uncertain"

"I appreciate you sharing this with me" And really mean it.

DON'T say:

"At least you're not dealing with..." (Never start the Pain Olympics)

"Look on the bright side..." (Unless you want eyes rolled so hard they might stick)

"Everything happens for a reason" (Let's retire this one along with "It is what it is")

"You should just..." (If it were that simple, they'd have "just" done it already)

Bring The Power of Genuine Curiosity

When everything feels overwhelming, our instinct might be to jump into problem-solving mode. But what clients often need most is someone who's genuinely curious about their experience.

Strong questions to ask:

"What's keeping you up at night right now?"

"How is this affecting you and your team on a personal level?"

"What would support look like for you right now?"

"What haven't you had the chance to talk about yet?" (Because sometimes we need permission to say the quiet parts out loud)

Questions to avoid:

"Why haven't you tried...?"

"Wouldn't it be better if...?"

Any question that suggests you know better than they do (You don't. Really.)

Naming Emotions Without Fixing Them

Remember Marc Brackett's wisdom from Yale's Center for Emotional Intelligence: "If you can name it, you can tame it." Help your clients identify what they're feeling:

Try:

"It sounds like you're feeling [frustrated/overwhelmed/uncertain] about this situation"

"Would you say you're feeling more [anxious/worried/stressed] about the immediate challenges or the long-term implications?"

"On a scale of 'managing okay' to 'everything is on fire,' where are you today?"

Avoid:

Minimizing feelings ("It's not that bad")

Rushing to solutions ("Here's what you need to do...")

Comparing struggles ("Everyone is dealing with this")

Offer Multiple Forms of Support

In our book, "Go to Help: 31 Strategies to Offer, Ask for, and Accept Help" Sophie Riegel and I contend that we all need to become more "help fluent" -- be able to offer a wide range of helping tactics beyond "let me tell you how to fix it" or "let me fix it for you". Instead of assuming what your clients need, offer a menu of options.

"Would it be helpful if I..."

"Just listened as you think through this?"

"Helped you prioritize what needs attention first?"

"Served as a sounding board for your ideas?"

"Connected you with others facing similar challenges?"

"Worked with you to create a flexible plan that can adapt as things change?"

Bring Your Human Touch

Remember to:

Acknowledge that it's okay not to be okay

Share your own experiences when appropriate (briefly and without overshadowing theirs)

Follow up consistently ("I've been thinking about what you shared...")

Celebrate small wins

Create space for both professional and personal check-ins

What Not to Do:

Don't pretend everything is fine

Don't push for decisions when they're not ready

Don't assume business priorities haven't shifted

Don't expect "business as usual" performance

Don't forget that everyone is human first, professional second

The Bottom Line

Remember: Sometimes the most powerful thing we can say is "I don't have the answers, but I'm here with you, and we'll figure this out together."

What your clients will remember long after this chapter ends isn't whether you had all the solutions – it's how you made them feel when everything felt overwhelming. Lead with empathy, stay curious, and be the kind of partner you'd want in your corner when times are tough.

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Deborah Grayson Riegel MSW, PCC

Deborah Grayson Riegel is a keynote speaker and consultant who teaches leadership communication for Wharton Business School and Columbia Business School. She is a regular contributor for Harvard Business Review, Inc., Psychology Today, Forbes, and Fast Company. The author of Overcoming Overthinking: 36 Ways to Tame Anxiety for Work, School, and Life, she consults and speaks for clients including Amazon, BlackRock, KraftHeinz, PepsiCo, and The United States Army. Her work has been featured in worldwide media, including Bloomberg Businessweek, Oprah Magazine, and The New York Times.

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